Sam has made good strides in the past year and most days I can catch his physical cues indicating he needs to have a bowel movement and get him to the potty in time. However, I have hit a rock wall in teaching him the steps needed to toilet independently. To me it seems like there is a miscommunication between his body and his brain. The body may be feeling the need to go to the bathroom but the brain isn't getting the message in time and therefore isn't able to send it to whatever part of the brain starts the process of taking care of business.
Its certainly frustrating having an eight year old still wearing diapers but I am comforted at least by the fact that he is not afraid of using the toilet once I get him there.
Which brings us to my six year old son, Noah.
Noah has numerous issues with toileting. He has a medical condition called encopresis which means he tries not to poop. Ever. In a perfect world Noah's poop would magically disappear from his colon and never touch his body, diaper, or a toilet.
Actually, I think we'd all like that to be the case. Imagine the number of diapers new dads would change if they never had to be met with a catastrophic ass-plosion of monumental proportions?! It would be life changing!
But I digress.
Noah first developed this issue when he was three. I have blogged about it on quite a number of occasions and each time I was hopeful that that would be the last year we'd be dealing with it.
Only its not.
Noah takes twice the adult dose of Miralax every day to keep his stools soft enough that he can't hold them in. Any stool even somewhat formed and he will clamp down on his colon like a vice grip and writhe in pain for days.
The GI specialist and behavioral psychologist advised stopping the Miralax and switching to suppositories but Noah will writhe and kick so hard it takes more than 2 people to hold him down to insert it. Which actually makes a lot of sense to me. We're dealing with a six year old with severe autism who is in pain, doesn't understand what is happening, and doesn't know that what we are doing is trying to make him feel better. So, he fights with all that is in him to prevent it.
Its no wonder I have stuck with the Miralax treatment for so long.
But today, three years into the encopresis diagnosis, I am really at my wits end with the whole situation. I've tried picture schedules, social stories, reading books about going potty, and even modeling (don't ask!). It seems nothing I do can help Noah understand what is happening inside his body and that it doesn't have to be painful or scary.
Which is why I am writing about poop again.
I know that many of you have had similar struggles teaching a child with autism how to use the potty independently. Some of you have indicated to me in the past that your child has even overcome encopresis.
I need your help.
I need your advice.
I need to know that I'm not the only parent out there who has kids like mine who still wear swim diapers. Who are teased by their peers about still wearing pull-ups. Who struggle to keep their big mouth shut when kids younger than ours ask their parents (LOUDLY) if our child is a baby?
Its just getting to me and we're coming into summer and I'm realizing I'm due for another season of swim diapers, strange looks, and hurtful comments. And I don't want to care but I do.
So, if you can tell me how you helped your child overcome their fear of the potty, or a diagnosis of encopresis, or how you explain to children why our kids still wear pull-ups it would mean a lot to me.
Because I really am sick of blogging about poop.
