The "different but not less" holiday blog hop!

Growing up I have wonderful memories of Christmas with my family. Even after my parents separated and divorced Christmas remained a magical time. It was as if nothing could deter the Christmas spirit from permeating every corner of our home and our hearts.

After I married I looked forward to continuing the traditions my mom and dad had shared with my sister's and me. Especially once I had a child of my own.

But, when my son Sam was diagnosed with autism on the severe end of the spectrum things took an abrupt turn.

Then his younger brother Noah was born and also diagnosed with severe autism.

The holidays took a rapid turn from that point forward.  I realized that the special Thanksgiving and Christmas morning breakfasts my mom would make were going to go uneaten by anyone but myself.  A large tree with all the twinkling lights and Hallmark decorations weren't safe in the house, and the roaring fire in the fireplace was too dangerous to enjoy.

If I am completely honest I still struggle with the holiday season and celebrating it in a way that both honors my memories and family traditions with the reality of raising two boys with pervasive sensory issues and aversions to both food, sound, and touch.

However, I have learned over the years that there are certain traditions I can keep and those that I have had to set aside and replace with new ones that make the holiday special for everyone in my family, not just me.

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How does your family celebrate the holidays?  

What changes have you had to make due to raising children with special needs?

If you'd like to join the "Different but not less" holiday blog hop you can do so by writing your own blog post about how your family celebrates the holiday season while balancing the needs of your child with autism or another special medical condition.  

Simply add your name (or your blog name) and the URL to your blog post in the Mr. Linky located below and we can visit each other's blogs and share ideas, tips, and inspiration.

Lets get hopping!

**I do apologize for not getting this post up yesterday as promised.  The cold I have been fighting for over two weeks took a bad turn and I ended up spending the better part of yesterday waiting to see my doctor for some much needed meds!**

The "different but not less" holiday blog hop is tomorrow!

Last week I wrote a post titled, Autism and Christmas: Different but not less and in the comments I found many otherparents telling me about the ways they keep their holiday celebrations fun and enjoyable in the midst of raising children with autism and other special needs.

Later on Twitter many others joined in and I came up with the idea of hosting a special holiday link up in which each of us can write a post about how we celebrated our winter holidays with our families and perhaps give ideas and support to others in the autism and special needs communities for the years ahead.


If you would like to join in simply write a post and then tomorrow you can come back and enter my Mr. Linky with your name and your blog posts' URL and you'll be included! 

This blog hop is open to all parents of special needs children (and those with neurotypical children who want to contribute) for any holiday celebration whether it be Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, etc.  I encourage you to visit and comment on as many of the blogs listed as possible.  I am sure I don't need to remind anyone but lets be sure to keep our comments respectful and understanding of the different religions, cultures, and family traditions.

Afterall, they may be different, but they are NEVER less!

Moments of happy

This weekend was crazy. 

Christmas left me feeling harried and looking more like my Banshee avatar. If I wanted to I could make a laundry list of complaints and frustrations from the weekend.   Truly, I could go on and on and on and....

You get the idea.

But instead I'm not going to do that. I am going to take my frazzled frown and turn it upside down and choose to focus on the moments of happy I had.

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Noah has developed a silly little trick as of late. When he wants a specific DVD to play in his room he will bring it to me to put into the machine (which is 6' off the ground on a shelf) and when I go into his room to do it he will then grab onto my pant legs in what I think is an attempt to keep me from walking away before pressing the play button. Its something small and deliberate and yet it makes me smile every time he does it.

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Noah has also made the leap into writing.  His dad bought him a giant pad of paper and new colored pencils for Christmas and he has spent the weekend writing out the colors and using the correct ones to spell each word.  This really is a big deal and seeing him do this independently really warmed my heart.  My baby boy is growing up!

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Sam has come down with the dreaded head cold that is making its way through our house.  Unfortunately he has also developed impetigo on his face from rubbing his nose with his hands (ICK!).  

Make no mistake, his being sick and covered in a contagious rash is NOT something that makes me happy.

However, the way he is handling my washing his hands, cleaning his face, and even applying a medicated ointment with no fuss truly is something to be celebrated!  Just a year ago this kind of nursing would have required the help of another adult to hold him down.   

My big boy has come such a long way!

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The biggest moment of happy came to me this morning when I was reading the blog Life Rearranged by my pal Jeannett.

She has partnered with Reece's Rainbow to raise $20,000.00 to bring sweet Cliff from an orphanage in Russia to a forever home with a family in the United States.  Currently her efforts have raised more than $7,500.00!




Reece's Rainbow is a non-profit organization that assists families wanting to adopt children with down syndrome from foreign countries (mostly Russia & other European countries). Sweet Cliff is just one of hundreds of children needing a family to call his own.

This week Jeannett is asking everyone to give just $1 towards bringing Cliff home.

And I realized I could do so much more than that.

So I did.

And you know what?

Nothing, and I do mean NOTHING feels as good as giving of what you have to those who have so little.

If you would like to read more about little Cliff and Jeannett's mission to bring him home you can read about it here.

Please consider making a donation.  Every amount, even a $1 can make a difference!

Autism and Christmas: Different but not less*

In a few short days Christmas will be upon us. A culmination of commercialism, parking lot wars, and mad-dash midnight sales will come to an abrupt end with the subtle tick tock of the clock on the mantle which will herald in Christmas morning.

Around the world families will be awoken by small children in the wee hours of the morning begging to see what Santa has left them in their stockings and under the tree. Later they will welcome guests or perhaps travel to see extended family for a special Christmas meal with all the fixings.

However, around the world and perhaps right next door to you, there are families where Christmas is vastly different and perhaps a bit more special because of it. You see, those families have a child with autism...and that can be both a beautiful and albeit sometimes frustrating) home come Christmas morning.

Growing up my family traveled to my Grandparent's home for all the major holidays. At some gatherings there would be more than 5 of my dad's brother's and sister's families at once in their home. Today, I know that my family and many like mine do not have that option. It is simply too difficult to prepare an autistic child for what will happen in a home which is not your own and you are not calling the shots.

I remember as a child my big questions were if we would be opening gifts on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning? Do we dress up for dinner or remain casual? Will we be attending church or not? Where will we sleep? Questions such as these were a big deal and once they were answered by my parents I felt more at ease. A simple question and answer talk is not adequate or perhaps even possible when you are raising a child on the autism spectrum. Especially, if that child falls on the severe end and their receptive and expressive language skills are delayed or missing altogether.

To help illustrate my point I ask you to imagine being taken to a person's home in another country to celebrate a holiday you are not familiar with in which everyone around you is trying to explain it to you in a language you do not speak. When you become frustrated they talk louder (because surely that means you will understand them better, right?). They usher you from one activity to the next, giving you food you are not familiar with, in surroundings you do not know. Finally, when you are completely overwhelmed you attempt to leave the room, perhaps even the house, and concentrate on the things you do know, on the things you do like.

This is what celebrating Christmas in an unfamiliar home may be like for a child with autism.

Doesn't sound especially festive and fun does it?

This is why the majority of families with a special needs child prefer to celebrate in their own home and in their own way. In their home they can cushion the amount of change to their child's daily routine and thus provide them with a calmer Christmas and one that the entire family can enjoy together.

This may mean that Christmas gifts come pre-assembled with batteries installed and ready to go. Christmas dinner may be ultra-casual and consist of gluten-free foods or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Most likely you won't find a roaring fire in the fireplace and candlelight. But what you will find is a family that has made the holiday equally as special as the child experiencing it.

Something tells me Jesus wouldn't have his birthday celebrated any other way.


*Temple Grandin's mother, Eustacia Cutler, is quoted as describing Autism and those with it as "Different but not less" and I felt it also perfectly described the celebration of holidays for those with autism and their families.

Being sick sucks all the creativity right out of me.

I'm sick.

Noah is sick.

But our similarities end there.

Noah is spending his sick days jumping off the furniture, running in circles and demanding a new DVD or food item every 2 to 4 minutes.  He is clearly too sick for school and yet too well for home.

I am spending my days finding new ways to curse the common cold, slathering myself in Vick's Vapor-Rub and laying on the couch like a giant slug with an over-abundance of slimy goo.  I am too sick to be taking care of another human being and yet too well to be admitted to the funny farm for some much needed rest and relaxation.

This afternoon they are calling for snow.

That means that most likely schools will be closed tomorrow and I will still be sick and taking care of two boys.

I quit.

Friday Foodie Swap

Today I am linking up with my blog and Twitter pal Veronica of Another Suburban Mom and her holiday edition of Friday Foodie.

Today I am giving you the recipe for my Grandmother's amazing yeast rolls. These rolls are a MUST at every family holiday or event. They take quite awhile but they are sooo worth the time and effort!

Holiday Rolls

When they tell me blog friends are not real

I will show them this:

Chewy Tubes and a package of diapers from @ErinLynn76 of The Mother Load

Color bubbler fidget toy and some AWESOME monster hand puppets from @AdryonsKitchen of Adryon's Kitchen

Weighted Spongebob Squarepants blanket was lovingly made by @2specialboys of 2 Special Boys

And today, I received a box from my Twitter friend and fellow Autism mom, @KLynnKing of StorkDok-NOS

Inside of that box I found this:

The ENTIRE Baby Einstein DVD set, Baby Bumblebee DVDs, Books, Music, and even bathtub books!

The boys were so excited when they opened the box, here let me show you:





And after seeing all this I will ask them if they STILL think my blog friends are not real!

I am so touched by all the generosity I have found within the blogging and Twitter community.  I am truly blessed by each and every one of you.

Making a Ruckus with autism!

My friend Jill of Scary Mommy asked me if I would be interested in reviewing a new app from Ruckus Mobile Media that bridges classic storybooks with vivid illustrations, famous narrators, and video?

I was all too happy to oblige.

At first I had intended to use the app myself and report back to Jill on my opinions but then I decided to see if I could get the boys to take a look at it too.  Needless to say I was not optimistic.

The Trouble Brothers have never had much interest in Mommy reading to them given the amount of sitting still and paying attention that goes along with listening to a story.  They would much rather watch a DVD, throw items over our third floor balcony, scale the entertainment center and jump off of it, or spend hours in front of the computer playing music games.  But sitting down quietly and listening...never in a million years.

Until the day I gave them my iPhone and showed them Pecos Bill, that is.

If you'd like to see what happened next (its awesome!) you can read about it over at the Ruckus Media Group blog!

When Mom isn't here for Christmas

When Mom isn't here for Christmas...

• You know you'll be doing all of the cooking yourself.
• There will be one less player at the table when the family plays Nertz
• Your two part harmony Christmas carols will be replaced with a lonesome solo
• You'll pull out all the old ornaments and Christmas pictures from previous years and look through them remembering the good times and the laughter.
• You'll tell your boys about their Nana and show them pictures of her smiling and acting silly.
• You'll almost make it to 9:00 am before you feel your first tear fall 
• Your house won't look like Santa's Village threw up all over the place and you'll be grateful knowing it won't take three days to pack it all up come January.
• Your sisters will call and you'll say it gets a little bit easier as each year passes.  Then you'll feel guilty for saying it.
• You'll pull out the old home movies and watch as you tore through those presents like a wild tornado never realizing that the best gift you were ever given was the one who stayed up all night wrapping them.
• It will make you so much more grateful for those who are here for Christmas.
• You'll read 'Twas The Night Before Christmas to your boys and do all the fun voices just like she did when you were little.
• You'll want to make Christmas magical for your boys just like she did for you and your sisters when you were little.
• You're gonna be a bit of a bummer to be around every now and then.
• You'll miss out on all the ribbing she gave you for your total inability to wrap a present without starting over four times.
• There will be one less person at the table, but on the upside that means more stuffing and pie for you later.
• You'll think about all the great gifts you wish you had bought her when she was still alive.
• You'll decide instead to buy that gift and give it to someone in need.  Maybe a nice older woman from church or the nursing home.
• People will give you a hug and tell you their favorite memories of her.
• You'll go to church and be thankful she is spending it with Jesus.

•  You'll miss her so bad your heart aches.