The birds and the bees...and moths do it too!

This morning the boys and I were outside waiting for their school bus to arrive when I noticed a gigantic moth laying on the blacktop parking lot. At first I thought it had died but upon closer inspection I realized it was not just one moth, but two.

And they were very much alive.

So alive, in fact, that they were "hugging". *ahem*

At this point the boys both came over to see what I was looking at and I had to keep Noah from grabbing the pair obviously in the throws of passion.

I also knew I needed to move them or they were going to get hit by a car which I thought might be a tad anti-climactic, if you know what I mean.

So, I used a stick to pick up the pair and the male seemed more than happy to grab on and take a little trip to a safer spot under a tall tree. But then, he proceeded to climb four feet up the trunk of the tree carrying his sweet little lady still attached and dangling precariously from beneath him.

Talk about going to great lengths for some hot mothy sex.

I, having no couth (or a sense of privacy) had to run upstairs to get my camera.

Oh, yes...yes I did.

I took this picture this morning at 7:45 am and guess who were still at it when I went downstairs just now at 10:45?

Talk about marathon sex.

And why do I suddenly feel the need for a cigarette?

My first vlog: Behind the mask

This may be a bit of a trainwreck but I thought it was pretty good considering I had Sam doing jazzercize behind me and flying rings of ribbons shooting over my head while doing it.

But, I'll let all of you be the judge!



So what do you all think? Yea to the Vlog? Or...Don't quit your day job!?

Testing

I noticed that I lost my Intense Debate commenting system when I recently upgraded my background and layout using Blogger's new Template designer. 

So, this post is really a nothing-burger. 

I'm just testing to be sure it has been reinstalled correctly.

I'm not home right now.

Hello, you have reached the blog of Sunday at Adventures in Extreme Parenthood. I can't come to my blog right now but if you leave your name and comment I'll...

Or, better yet...why not visit me today over at Dumb Mom's blog, otherwise known as Parenting By Dummies and read some of the ways I survive the summer months with special needs children.

So come on...don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!

Siblings with autism murdered by their mother

I turned on the television this morning and was shocked to hear the latest news story involving 30 year old, Saiga Akhter and her 911 tape in which she calmly explains to the operator how and why she killed her young son and daughter.



After hearing this story I sat here horrified, saddened to my core, and mad as hell.

There are numerous questions that are still unanswered.

Is this mother a monster? Does she suffer from a mental illness? or was she simply at the end of her rope and instead of calling out for help she took matters literally into her own hands and used them to kill her children?

I do not know the answers to these questions. And frankly, I don't think I care to know them. I don't care to hear her excuses or a doctor's diagnosis that she was "sick".

When I heard this story I saw her for what she was, a cold-blooded murderer of two innocent children.

I am sure additional stories will come out in which Akhter explains how she felt backed up against a wall and unable to handle either her children or their disorder, how she was ostracized by her family and her community for the ways her children behaved, or how she worried for their future and who would care for them for the rest of their lives after she was gone.

I DON'T CARE.

What I DO care about is justice. I want to see some Walker Texas Ranger style justice served on that woman.

I want justice for those two children, a young boy age 5 and his sister 2 years old, who were unable to comprehend what their mother, the woman who is supposed to nurture and protect them from anything that could ever hurt them, was about to do.

I want her put away for the rest of her life and if a court of law sees fit to end it sooner rather than later, then so be it.

I want this woman brought to her knees for what she has done. I don't want to hear about her getting her college degree in prison, how she is working hard with her lawyers to appeal her conviction or overturn her death sentence, and I especially don't want to see any live TV interviews with her in an orange jumpsuit crying fake tears to Barbara Walters looking for absolution for the innocent lives she shattered.

The only one who can offer her that is God.

And I believe that when she meets Him she will experience either His Forgiveness or the full wrath of His Judgment. Which one she will experience is entirely up to her.

Forgiveness from me and from all the other mothers and fathers raising children with autism?

That is not so easy to call.

I for one, am working on that.

Welcome to the world Madeline Fern McKain!

I went to the hospital yesterday afternoon to see my BFF Becky and her sweet new baby girl, Maddie.

I know you all could care less what I write about when there are pictures of a newborn baby to be seen so I will just get to the pics!

I do have to say that I was very surprised by Madeline's middle name. 

You see, I have always called Becky "Fern".  It is my pet name for her.

The origin of the name is a funny story that goes back about 10 years when I used to go hiking with a great friend of mine.  We would see all the lush ferns on the trails and she would turn to me and say, "You're a fern for life!" (meaning a "friend" for life) and so when I met Becky I realized she was my fern for life and I told her the story and started calling her Fern. 

When Becky told me she was pregnant I immediately started calling the sweet baby growing inside her, "Fernlet".  She and Bill kept it a secret the whole time and so when they announced her name on the day she was born I was absolutely honored and floored. 

Sweet baby Madeline Fern...you're Aunt Sunday is going to spoil you rotten!

Top 10 Ways to Be a Hero to A New Mom

If you follow me on Twitter, Facebook and Whrrl you may have noted my excitement yesterday over my BFF Becky and her sweet baby girl, Madeline Fern McKain's entrance into this world 3 weeks early. 

I spent all day yesterday at Becky's house doing all the things she would have done if baby Maddie had waited and came closer to her due date.  While I was running around the house (and watching her two kids plus my own two) it occurred to me that there may be some out there that would be interested to know of some great tips on how to be a hero to a new mom.

These tips are perfect for the first time Mommy as well as the seasoned pro bringing home her 6th!

So, without further ado...Here is the Top 10 ways to be a hero to a new mom!

1)  Offer to watch the older siblings and/or family pet(s) while Mom and Dad are at the hospital
The last thing your friend wants to worry about when her water breaks unexpectedly at 3 am is who is going to watch the kids or the family pet when they leave for the hospital.

I recommend stepping up to the plate and offering to do so well in advance of the mom's due date.  Be sure to have backups in place in case you are away from home or out of the area when the big day arrives!

2)  Clean her house or hire someone to do so
No new mom wants to come home to a house with a sink full of dishes, piles of laundry waiting to be cleaned, and an empty refrigerator (see #3).  While Mom and Dad are at the hospital do the right thing and do a few loads of laundry (or better yet, all of it!), run the dishwasher and do your best to empty it and put everything back where it belongs, clean the kitchen and bathrooms and put a fresh set of sheets on the bed!

If cleaning truly is not your thing then call a cleaning service to come out and do it for you.  One step better...arrange for them to keep coming for the first month after mommy and baby come home from the hospital!

I guarantee the new mom will come home eternally grateful to you for all you have done!

3)  Organize meals for the first couple weeks from amongst her close friends, church family, or neighbors
When the new mom comes home from the hospital she wants to relax as best she can, get some rest, and care for her new baby.  What she most certainly does NOT want to do is have to cook dinner for herself and her family!

You can prevent that from happening by calling the close friends, church family and neighbors to arrange a schedule of meals to be delivered each day for the first two weeks.  A great place to start is with the women who attended the new mom's baby shower.  Simply call and ask what day would work best for them and set a time for the meal to be dropped off.

Be sure to remind each contributor of any food allergies or of any foods the family may avoid (such as pork, red meat, etc.)

4)  Be her very own public relations representative
Long gone are the days of having to call all your friends and family on the telephone when you welcome a new baby to the family.  Now we have Facebook, Twitter, Whrrl, and text messages to relay the good news fast!  
That being said, mom and dad are going to be busy holding that sweet new baby of theirs and so offering to be the families PR rep and relay the baby's name, weight, height, and how mom and baby are doing to the masses via all the various social media forms is a huge weight off their shoulders.

Just be sure to ask first...some parents like to keep things quiet for the first day or so as they soak up that new baby love all by themselves.


5)  Prep the baby's room
Not all parents have the baby's new room all ready to go prior to the sweet little thing's arrival.  In the case of my best friend Becky I was (and am) still in the process of getting the room painted and put together.

You can do the same for your friend by being sure she has the crib and/or bassinet assembled with sheets on it and ready to go, same goes for the changing table and opening the first package of newborn diapers, wipes, and taking that pesky safety tab off the new tube of Desitin and having it all arranged for her. 

6)  Do something special for the older siblings
With all the hubbub of the new baby being born its not hard for the big brother(s) or sister(s) to end up feeling a bit jilted.

One of the nicest things you could do for these kiddos is lavish a little attention on them.  Consider taking them out for bowling and pizza or maybe a movie and ice cream.  Both of those are special outings they probably won't be doing anytime in the near future with a new little one at home.

7)  Do not criticize the choice of the baby's name
Trust me...you do NOT want to make this mistake.  If the parents named their kid Leviticus Vesuvius Monticello the fourth the correct response is (and repeat after me)..."What a big handsome name for such a big boy!"

Under no circumstances are you to utter the following:
"You're joking, right?!"
"Sheesh, with a name like that you might as well put a sign up him that says, "Let the playground beatings begin!""
"Why didn't you name her after my father (mother, grandmother, great-grandfather..etc.)?
"Well, you can always change it later when you change your minds"

If you do...well then see #2 and pick up your mop and pail and get to work!


8)  Always call before visiting and make the visit short.
Whether the new mom is in the hospital or at home recovering you should call first and be sure both mommy and baby are able to accept visitors.  In fact, I would go so far as to say that once mom and baby are home you MUST call ahead.

That first day home is all about getting rest, eating a good meal they didn't have to cook themselves, and learning their new baby's routine of feeding and sleeping.  What it is not about is having their entire extended family over for a an all day game of pass around the newborn.  I guarantee the new parents would be left feeling like they need to do something when everyone is there when what they really should be doing is getting some much needed sleep!  For most new parents a short half hour visit is appreciated.

If you ignore every other tip I have please do NOT ignore this one.  This one really is a big deal!


9)  Never visit empty-handed
This tip goes along hand in hand with tip #8!  If you call ahead and the parents say its a good time to visit pick up something the family may need on your way to their house.  A homemade or restaurant meal for the family, a cake, a bouquet of flowers (pre-arranged in a vase), or a box of diapers are always excellent gifts to bring.

10)  Agree that her baby is by far the cutest you have ever seen.
I don't care if you have had 9 of your own and they all went on to win the Parent's Magazine cover contest...this baby you are seeing right at this moment is the most beautiful, precious, adorable, and lovely baby to have ever graced God's green earth.   End of story.

The best part of following each of these 10 tips?  You will be welcomed and blessed to do this....

because you play by the rules!



 This post is Day 2 in the Problogger's 31 Days to Build A Better Blog program hosted by SITS and BlogFrog. You can read more list posts written by the other participants by clicking here.

I'm going to blog about poop now

Consider yourself warned.

This is definitely not the first time I have blogged about Noah and his numerous issues with his bowels.

In fact, if you follow me on Twitter you have most likely read the many tweets in which I lament over failed attempts at potty training, my frustration with Noah's fear of  poop, and the many medical tests and interventions he has endured in hopes of treating his attempts to withhold stool.

For over a year Noah has purposefully attempted to prevent himself from pooping.

Noah's doctor and other experts in encopresis (the medical term for fecal withholding) all agree that the problem typically starts when a child has an occurrence of constipation and the resulting pain scares the child into associating all bowel movements as being both a bad thing and a PAINFUL bad thing.  The child then purposely holds in the stool and refuses to pass it either on the toilet or in a diaper.  This results in stool becoming impacted and backing up into the colon which can then cause a myriad of dangerous health problems.


There are 2 ways of dealing with this issue.  The first involves an enema and works rather quickly and the second involves very high doses of Miralax and works more slowly.  Considering Noah has already been suffering with this issue for over a year now I decided that taking the route of a treatment that works more slowly would emotionally harm him less than attempting to subdue him long enough to administer the enema.

The great thing about Miralax is that I can mix it into whatever he is already drinking and it has no taste, color, or texture.  Its completely painless to give it to him.

Too bad the result of the drinking can't be too.

We started OPERATION ROTO-ROOTER on Tuesday morning and by that evening the poor fella's hind end was in full faucet mode.  However, by Wednesday morning he was so much happier and obviously in much less pain.

Currently we are on 3 of the clean-out stage and things are moving along about as well as you would expect (pun intended).  Today I will gradually begin weaning back the Miralax dose by 1 teaspoon per day until I can get Noah down to 2 regular, pain free bowel movements per day.

I'm not going to hold my breath.

Poor Noah has a long road ahead of him.  Treatment of encopresis typically takes a year to break down the vicious cycle of constipation, medically-induced cleanouts, and then the building back up of impacted stool.  Much of the treatment is psychological and involves taking baby steps to help the child overcome their fear of pooping.
It saddens me that any child has to suffer with this problem and that there are other mothers out there like me at their wits end begging, pleading, bribing, and otherwise willing their child to do their business on a regular basis.

I would go so far as to assume that most mothers with a child suffering with encopresis don't care where our child eventually decides to initiate their bowel movements. 

They can do it in the toilet, behind a tree, or even in a diaper.

First thing in the morning, after lunch, or even in the middle of the night.

Just for the love of all that is sacred and holy take a dump, son!

*********************

I highly recommend the following bloggers and their blogs if you would like to read more about the struggles of encopresis and how it effects children and their caretakers.  Both are raising children on and off the autism spectrum and have a wonderful sense of humor.


Sarah over at Planet Josh recently wrote post titled, Poop-Wiki.

Stimey from Stimeyland has blogged about her son's struggles with the big BM not once, but 11 times!

A visit to the doctor

The boys had their yearly checkup today with their Pediatrician.

I have found that having their appointments at the same time is much like removing a band-aid quickly.

Painful...but over and done with much quicker.

But honestly I had the better end of the deal.  Noah had to have 2 new immunizations and a finger stick and Sam had to have 1 immunization and a finger stick.  Normally one would think that the finger stick would be the easy-peasy part. 

This is so NOT the case when it comes to Mr. Noah. 

First off, Noah hates band-aids.  So even though they put one on him he is guaranteed to gnaw that sucker off within 10 seconds. 

This occasion was no different.

Noah is screaming and squeezing his hands together which is making him bleed faster and more furiously.  I am attempting to hold a tissue against his hand to stop the flow and in response Noah is kicking and thrashing about in hopes of thwarting my blood-clotting attempts.

Meanwhile poor Sam is looking on in horror and the nurses are waiting to administer his shot and finger stick.

My Sam is such a tender-hearted boy.  He began crying not because of his own impending shot but because he was worried about his brother.  He kept saying "Its okay Noah, its okay" over and over again.

By the grace of God we made it through Sam's shot and finger stick and unlike his brother Sam loves band-aids.  In fact, whenever Dr. Stein looks in his ears he asks for a band-aids and being the great doctor that she is she is more than happy to oblige him by placing them on the side of his neck just below his ears.

It took another 15 to 20 minutes to get Noah calmed down enough for me to pick him up and carry him out of the office and to the car.  Thankfully I had my Mommy's Little Helper, Katie, along for the ride to help me with Sam.

Once we were all in the car I felt like I had just run a marathon.  My heart was beating double time, I was sweating and when I looked in the rear-view mirror poor Noah looked like Hannibal Lechter from Silence of the Lambs with tear-stained blood streaks down his face and arms.

Its occasions like these that leave me feeling sad and frustrated by autism and the grip it has on the minds of my children.

It is heartbreaking to know that no amount of preparation, social stories, or books about visits to the doctor can help my boys understand the need for immunizations and the occasional finger stick. 

It pains me to hear their screaming as we hold them down and to know that nothing I say or do can soothe their intense confusion. 

As the Mommy I am supposed to be the one who keeps anything in this world from hurting them.   And yet, I have no way of reaching the area of their mind that would comprehend the horrors of diseases such as Polio, Pertussis, and Tetanus.  I can't help them understand that the momentary pain is necessary to prevent something that is so much more painful and potentially deadly.

How do I help Noah realize that the band-aid he hates so much is actually helping him by giving his finger a hug which prevents the flow of blood that terrifies him?

How can I help Sam see that Mommy isn't holding Noah down to hurt him but so the nurses can safely administer the shots he needs?

The fact is....I can't.

All I can do is dry their tears, tell them I'm sorry, and pray they forgive me for the pain they cannot fathom is for their own good.

And somewhere in those moments I forgive myself as well.

The homes that built me

One of my new favorite songs is Miranda Lambert's, "The House That Built Me." Whenever I hear it I am immediately taken back in time to the 2 homes I grew up in.



When I was born we lived at 1225 Harned Drive in Bartlesville, Oklahoma. It was a modest three bedroom house with 2 bathrooms. The carpet was blood red and we had wood paneling on the walls in our family room.

Mom, Caryn and me sometime around 1976

The back of the house was built in 1979 just before my younger sister, Molly, was born.

Notice the tres chic red carpet and wood paneling.

I know you're jealous they don't design homes like this anymore.

Caryn and I chilling in the pool in our backyard.

1977

Mom and Molly showing off the new addition to the back of the house

1979

This house held all the childhood memories most of us would expect to experience.  

I remember putting our hands in the wet cement that was poured for a new sidewalk in the front of our house.

When I was 11 our family dog, Snoopy, died and was buried in my dad's t-shirt in the backyard just outside his office window.

My mom would spend many of her days at her sewing desk carefully making cloth items to sell, clothing for Molly and I, and in time she would sew each of Caryns's prom and homecoming dresses.  

This was the house where my parent's fought and eventually separated.  Caryn went to college at the University of Oklahoma while Mom, Molly and I moved to Colorado.

Mom in front of the finished house

1991

The Big Thompson River flowed 10 feet from our deck.

Molly and the doggies hamming it up at the house's entrance

My room was in the back corner of the house facing the river. 

During the summer I would open my windows at night and listen to the sounds of the rushing water.

To this day I can close my eyes and hear that sound and it still calms me.

Our home in Colorado was my house of firsts.

Its the house I lived in when I had my first kiss, told my best friend I had sex for the first time and cried when the first of many boys broke my  heart.

This house was where I got drunk for the first time (with my Mom!), where my mom let my friends come over and light a giant bonfire, drink beer and then crash on the living room floor.  Its where my friends and I played a midnight game of hide and seek in the pitch black house which today is easily one of my favorite memories of high school.

It was my mom's dream house.  

It was the house my parents both thought would fix their marriage and instead gave them the freedom they needed to see how much happier they were living apart.  

This house was where I saw my Mom really come in to her own and make her own friends, her own money, and find the happiness she always seemed to be lacking.  It was the beginning of the last, and probably the best, 14 years of my mom's life.

My parent's sold the house only a few years after it was finished.  My mom lived in it for 3 and then my Dad bought it from her and lived in it another 3.

My dad sold it to a retired couple who had wanted it for its spacious living areas and multiple bedrooms and its location directly next to the river.

This house is the one I would buy if I won the lottery.  I'd go back and tell the current owners to name their price and I would happily pay it.

The first night back I know just where I'd sleep.

I'd go back to that little back bedroom and open those casement windows as far as they would go and then I'd lay down on my back and pretend I was 16 again and waiting for my mom to knock on my door and kiss me goodnight.

And for a moment I think I would almost hear her call me "Angel Pie" one more time.

Back to school, painting, and blog design...OH MY!

The Trouble Brothers started back to school yesterday. Here in Maryland summer special education services are called ESY (short for Extended School Year) and run for 3 hours a day, 5 days a week for 4 weeks.

Its a break, albeit a short one.

To fill my new found free time I have decided to lounge naked in my air conditioned living room and feed myself ice cream bon-bons while watching Vin Diesel movies paint my BFF Becky's baby's room and furniture, teach her son swim lessons, create a kick-ass blog for my sister, run 3 miles a day on my neglected treadmill, and in all my spare time I was planning on solving that pesky oil spill issue.

Funny thing is...I really enjoy the fast-paced excitement of having something to do.  Having anything to do that doesn't involve changing a 5 and 7 year old's diaper, dodging Noah's attempts to maim me with the toys he throws in the air, or feeling like a trapped rat in this condo while the heat index rises outside to triple digits.

The fact is...
I love to paint.
I adore swimming and am actually quite good at it (however we will see how good of a teacher I am).
I love learning blog design and when Caryn asked for my help with her blog I was very honored to do so.
I do love to run and while its hot as hades outside I am very lucky to have a treadmill which allows me the comfort of running in my air-conditioned home.
As for that oil spill....I'm pretty much at a loss but I'd like to think SpongeBob's heroes, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy might have some ideas.

My camera hates me.

Yesterday Mike and I headed back to Casa de Grasshoppa for a great day of sunshine, swimming, and gorging ourselves on carcinogenic grilled foods, jell-o shooters, and sangria.

I, of course, brought my camera which recently has been acting a bit wonky.  It started about a month ago when 1 or 2 photos out of 30 would have strange lines and shading across the images.

Well, today when I plugged in my digital camera I noticed 25 out of the 30 photos I took are completely screwed.  As in, RUINED!

Daune's hubby grilling in his buff apron!

Damn camera.

Poor Daune...she looks like a Picasso painting under the influence of massive quantities of Sangria.

Oh wait...that was the photographer.  My bad.

Mike and his ingenious way of keeping the sun off his head

Mi camera es loca in la cabeza.

Wouldn't this picture have been ADORABLE!?

Totally ruined by my crappy camera.

I am NOT happy.

So, I took out my trusty camera manual and proof of purchase from December 2009 and noted that the camera is only under warranty for 6 months.  Which means, I'm screwed.

It appears I am now in the market for a new camera.

Pronto.

Like the Wicked Witch of the West...only different

Last Friday I got the mother of all sunburns on my back and shoulders while lounging poolside with The Grasshoppa.

All last weekend I stayed at home because venturing out in public would have required me to wear a bra that that was NOT happening. In fact, wearing a t-shirt was almost considered a non-mandatory piece of clothing.

However, now my back feels ever so much better and I am back to wearing regular clothing that is appropriate for public display.

But now I have a new problem.

I'm molting.

And I feel itchy.  Very very itchy.

I feel like the much less evil, much more icky sister of the Wicked Witch of the West.

I look in the mirror at my back and I feel like screaming, "I'mmmmm MOLTING! MOLTING!! AHHHHHHH!"

I never doubted for a SECOND!

Last night I watched via a computer live-stream as my sister Caryn, The Fat N' Sassy Mama, won for her appetizer recipe, Sassy Tailgate Sandwiches, in Paula Deen's Real Women of Philadelphia cooking contest.

I laughed when Aunt Peggy complimented Caryn on her use of King's Hawaiian buns and my sister (ever the comedian) didn't skip a beat and said she'd never had anyone tell her she has nice buns before! The room exploded in laughter!

This morning there are dozens of news stories, pictures, and videos of the show to see.  I will update this list through the day and weekend for family, friends, and anyone who wants to hear more about what my amazing sister is up to in her new adventure as one of the Real Women of Philadelphia!

June 23, 2010
NormanTrascript.com Story

June 26, 2010
NewsOK.com Story
NewsOK.com Photo #1
NewsOK.com Photo #2
NewsOK.com Photo #3

News9.com Story

June 30, 2010
The Real Women of Philadelphia live blog photos


Thursday, July 1, 2010:
SavannahNow.com Story
News9.com Story 
South Magazine Story and Amazing Photos!