Welcome to my psychotic break...I mean, spring break.

The boys are out of school all this week for spring break.

First of all, I would like to say I remember what spring break used to mean.  It used to be mean a week away from home to do something fun.  A time to be together but not so together that we wanted to rip each others' throats out. 

What is the snapshot of spring break 2010 you ask?

Well Monday and Tuesday almost drove me to the brink of insanity with the incessant rain and 40 degree temperatures.  I am not entirely sure how I made it through those 48 hours but I am quite sure Jesus had something to do with it.  I know this because I spent most of the time praying for strength, peace, and patience and He was there to dish out exactly what I needed when I needed it.

We made sock puppets on Monday which was somewhat successful and Sam seemed to enjoy.  Noah could have cared less and was quite vocal about it too.

On Tuesday I loaded the boys in the car and drove around for about a half hour just to get us out of the house for a short time.  We did end up at McDonald's for some playground fun but we had to cut that short when I found the boys preferred to alternate between banging on the metal posts, dismanteling the high chairs, and trying to climb the condiment table.

Fun times to be sure.

Today the weather is sunny and warmer and so I am thinking we will venture to an outdoor playground so I can wear their little asses out get some fresh air.  The success of this plan will remain to be seen.  I will be sure to keep you all posted.

For those of you who are living it up at the beach, on the ski slopes, or lounging pool side sans children.  I hope you have a wonderful time...but the thought of it makes me hate you just a little bit.

Sad but true.

Thank God for second chances

I am back over at In The Real World: Venus Vs. Mars today with the second part of the story about my life today as a second time newlywed. 

Why not stop by and leave me some comment love?!

Autism didn't cause my divorce. Part 1

I am over here today with my post about how special needs effects a couples marriage...or in my case just intensifies what is already broken.



It would make me deleriously happy if you stopped by and took a look. Especially since I am currently writing part 2 to be posted later this week.

I love you guys!

A case of the wants

I WANT:

1. A nap
2. To stop spending almost a hundred dollars a month on diapers
3. A medium-well filet mignon with garlic mashed potatoes, green beans almondine, and an extra large pistachio gelato.  
4. My dog to not smell like one.
5. My possessed treadmill, "Christine", to stop acting wonky
6. A vacation
7. Or just a long weekend away
8. Dora and Deigo to come help me find my sense of humor, I know its around here somewhere.
9. To build a playground in the middle of my living room for the boys
10. Ten minutes in heaven with my mom to feel her hug me, call me "Angel Pie", and tell me everything will be okay.
11. To stop wanting so much and be at peace with what I have here in this moment
12. A set of 1000 thread count sheets
13. A full body massage that lasts 4 hours
14. A pedicure
15. Noah to stop trying NOT to poop.
16. Sam to always snuggle with me in the mornings in his little bed.
17. My husband's allergies to stop driving him crazy and making it so hard for him to sleep
18. Noah to stop spitting everywhere.
19. Sam to start eating more than just 3 things.
20. Cable for free
21. An iPhone.  Also for free.
22. To stop making this list because it sounds so darn whiney.
23. My dog to stop growling at me to take him for a walk
24. To pay someone to make my blog look fabulous and professional
25. To go visit my sister
26. To win the lottery
27. To be someone who makes a difference
28. To be still and remember who is in control.
29. Another big hug like the one my hubby gave me this morning.
30. A nap.

A great birthday weekend!

It was unseasonably warm here in Maryland this weekend which was perfect considering it was Noah's birthday and one of his favorite things to do is be outside and run around willy nilly. 

Saturday morning we headed to our neighborhood's small playground and rode the Shake-a-saurus Rex.

Sam entertained everyone by banging on the various playground pieces with a stick.

He did stop for a short time so I could get this tough guy picture of him.  But, don't let the picture fool you.  He is my snuggler and loves to spend the day under a blanket with his green Slither snakes.

Even Ernie enjoyed the warm weather and sunned himself in the afternoon on the deck.

On Sunday we had a small birthday party for Noah.  I found him a great balloon at the local grocery store.  Who says you have to have a birthday themed balloon on your special day?  Not us!

Noah wanted to spend most of the time during the party in his room watching Dora but when I mentioned the word "Presents" he made a bee-line for the table!

Noah got a lot of new books, A Shining Star Penguin and art set from his Daddy, and some new drawing papers and crayons from Becky and her family.

My dad and Stepmom brought 2 Zhu Zhu pets, which I had never seen before, and the boys loved them.  Noah cracked up at the funny noises they made and especially likes the black and white one that Moo's like a cow.

My personal favorite picture of the weekend...  My own little photo-op FAIL!

Oh well....it was almost a perfect weekend.

Today my Baby Noah turns FIVE!

Someone please tell me how a tiny human being goes from this...

To this...

In the blink of an eye?

Today my baby, Noah, turns 5 years old. 

In honor of his 5th birthday I decided to dedicate this post to the 5 wonderful, quirky, joyful, silly and touching things that make up my little man.

1) Noah was born on March 21, 2005 at roughly 11:00 in the morning at Baltimore's Sinai Hospital.  He was a planned C-section, but unfortunately due to a unique spinal issue I have called Transverse Myelitis I cannot have spinal anesthesia and therefore had to be put under general anesthesia for his delivery.  I didn't actually get to hold him for the first time until a number of hours after he was born.  Noah weighed in at 8 lbs. 1.75 oz. and was 21 3/4" long.
I fell in love with the name Noah when I was pregnant with him.  At that time I did not know of any other Noah's among my friend's children and I was sold on it for good when I read that the name meant "Peaceful and Obedient".  I figured after the whirlwind first 2 years of Sam's life I could use a little peaceful obedience!

Noah's middle name is Russell.  He is named after my good friend and wanna-be big brother, Russ, who I have worked with for over 12 years at TDH Nurseries.  Russ would always joke with me when I was pregnant over how "Russell" was doing and I would always correct him with the name we had already chosen for our baby boy, which was certainly NOT Russell.  Imagine his surprise when Noah was born and he came to see us at the hospital and introduced him to Noah Russell Godfrey.  He was completely stunned and I think a bit honored.  To this day Russ will still call and ask how "Little Russell" is doing.  He has chosen to ignore the fact that is first name is Noah. 

2)  Noah loves color!  He will arrange his crayons, toys, books, and everything else into a rainbow formation.  I will find these little rainbows all over the house.  I think it must be comforting to him to see the order of how they are placed.  Here is an example of his work:

When Noah was in the hospital last summer the only thing that made the stay tolerable were the crayons the children's playroom gave us for Noah to use in his crib.  Unfortunately because he had a MRSA staph infection he was not allowed to play in the room with other children.

3)  Noah also loves balloons.  He will carry one around with him attached to a string for days on end.  Even after the balloon has lost its helium and is trailing behind him on the carpet he will continue to hold it and throw it in the air and watch it fall back down to the ground over and over again.

Every major celebration (and even a few minor ones) have featured balloons in celebration of Noah.

Noah's 1st Birthday

The love affair with balloons begins!

 His 2nd birthday

Noah reaping the benefits of Sam's 5th Birthday party balloons!

When Noah has a bad day I know all I have to do is make a trip to the dollar store and buy him a helium balloon to make everything right in his world again.  Thank goodness it is such a simple fix.

4)  Noah can see beauty and wonder in anything.  I often find Noah laying down on his back looking out the window at the birds flying, or the trees swaying in the breeze, and I honestly wish I knew what it was about these actions that are so marvelous and mysterious to him.  

When we are outside he wants to pick up leaves or sticks and throw them high in the air and watch them fall back down.  He loves to run in circles and spin wildly like a whirling dervish.  When we see a bird or an airplane he will squee with excitement. 

I find Noah is most at peace when he is moving.  He can run like the wind and at times I wonder if he is trying to catch it and hold onto it.

5)  Noah loves to hide under blankets and pillows and in tight spaces he calls "caves".  He will carry a large king-size blanket into the living room and flop down on the floor and cover himself up and then chatter to himself about Dora and Boots and their adventures in the bat cave.  Sometimes he wants me to join him under the blanket and Mommy becomes the official tent pole by holding my hand up above my head.  If Noah happens to have a balloon with him under the "cave", all the better!

Noah, is my sweet baby boy.  My second and my last.  He has always kept me on my toes, is certainly the most mischievous of my 2 boys and prefers to play alone and do his own thing.  He has had some definite rough spots with recurring MRSA staph infections, numerous bowel and upper GI issues, and his dietary limitations can make meal planning a challenge, but all in all he is my easier child.  He is the one I can depend on to wake me up at the crack of dawn, and the first to fall asleep every night.  When Mommy wants to go outside he is the first one at the door waiting to tag along.  He is quick to anger but doesn't milk it for all its worth and when its done, its done.

And still I think he may not be peaceful....or obedient.

But, he is mine and that is most definitely enough.

My kids are autistic...Whats your excuse?

I was looking at T-shirts online the other day and I ran across one that said, 'My kids are autistic...What's your excuse?!" and I am seriously considering buying one.  I think if I do it will soon become my favorite shirt to wear when I take my boys outside our home.  Not that I do that often because heaven knows a Russian missile launch is easier to plan and orchestrate than preparing 2 autistic children for an outing.  

First there is the preparation of the backpack.  Inside the backpack I have 2 diapers for each child, baby wipes, an extra T-shirt and a pair of pants for both boys, my wallet, keys, sunglasses, a small first aid kit, a snack, a sippy cup filled and ready to go with their favorite drinks, and if I was smart I would remember to bring an extra shirt for myself.  But I never do.

And trust me, there are definitely days that I regret that decision.

Then comes the actual preparation of the boys.  Diaper changes, shoes, socks, jackets, hats, and the like all need to be put on, but not too early or they will just strip them all off again.  I am sure that many parents are reading this and thinking it doesn't sound all that different from getting a typical child(ren) ready to leave the house.  They are probably right, to a point.

The most difficult part is the inability to prepare society and other people for the reality that is what autism looks like and acts like.  In this world of political correctness and equal rights for all citizens you would think that a quintessential family place like the local fast food restaurant playground would be teeming with parents who have raised their young children to be compassionate, accommodating, and kind to others.  And that when faced with a child who is of differing abilities or disabled they would have some knowledge of how to act. 

Yeah, I used to think that way too.

Then I gave birth to my children and learned the cold hard truth.

The fact is the real problem is not so much with the children, its the parents.  Adults are supposed to set the good example by practicing kindness so their children learn to be kind as well.  Well, not to beat a dead horse over it but I just don't see it. 

When I take my boys to a playground I hear the comments of the other mothers and fathers as they whisper amongst themselves.  I see the stares and most distressing is I see their children watching them do it and learning in the process that people who are different are strange.  And then I wonder why I am surprised that those same children call my boys 'stupid' or 'weird' and don't want to play around them.

More than a few times I have packed my boys up and taken them back home because I was sick of the drama and more often than not I was fuming and ready to start a little of my own.

One could argue that I am too sensitive.  That I am setting myself up to fail by expecting other parents and children to behave as I was taught by my mother and father to respect all people regardless of their skin color, religion, or abilities.

But I do expect those things.  Because it is the right thing to do.

And I am tired of watching parents sitting idly by while their kids pick on those who cannot defend themselves.  Or parents who fail to install values and ideals in their children that run deeper than not wearing white after Labor Day or remembering to say "Please" and "Thank you".  I am so frustrated by the lack of empathy around me that I actually contemplate wearing a t-shirt to announce my children's disabilities in hopes that someone will take the hint and cut me and my kids some slack.

Because honestly, my kids and I aren't going anywhere.

Autism, disabled citizens, and those with intellectual differences are all a part of this world we live in.  We should not have to change who we are to fit the cookie cutter vision of Utopia that so many people think they live in.

So, I am thinking I will hold off on buying that T-shirt.  Instead I think I will learn to take some more risks, suffer some more insensitive stares and whispers and wear my Mommy smile with pride as I watch my sons climb the playground slide, albeit a bit slower than most, and slide down to the bottom quickly so they can hurry up and do it all over again.

And if I happen to once again suck it up and sit myself down right next to one of these parents and start up a conversation about autism and in the process educate another adult on what it is and what it is not, than so be it.

Cause you know....its the right thing to do.

A blessing from my home to yours

May the blessing of light be on you - light without and light within.

May the blessed sunlight shine on you like a great peat fire, so that stranger and friend may come and warm himself at it.

And may light shine out of the two eyes of you, like a candle set in the window of a house, bidding the wanderer come in out of the storm.

And may the blessing of the rain be on you, may it beat upon your Spirit and wash it fair and clean, and leave there a shining pool where the blue of Heaven shines, and sometimes a star.

And may the blessing of the earth be on you, soft under your feet as you pass along the roads, soft under you as you lie out on it, tired at the end of day; and may it rest easy over you when, at last, you lie out under it.

May it rest so lightly over you that your soul may be out from under it quickly; up and off and on its way to God.

And now may the Lord bless you, and bless you kindly.

Amen.

--A Scottish blessing

My Prom: Not exactly like the scene from Carrie but still just as frightening!

SupahMommy and MommyBrain are once again hosting a weekly MEme that I love to play along with when I can. This week's subject has to do with writing about our high school prom in all its big hair, frilly dresses, and loss of virginity glory! (Not mine....that was gone waaaaay before then!)

I could write a whole long dramatic story about my boyfriend and I, which includes my junior prom in 1994, but considering I still speak to this guy and genuinely think he is a great guy now I will keep my mouth shut.

Suffice it to say he stomped my heart into a million little pieces in the fall of 1995 and so I didn't think so highly of him back then.

My dress came from a vintage-inspired wedding dress shop.  It cost me $350.00!  My hair, nails, and fake flowers stuck into my skull...probably another $100.00

My shoes, which I also wore for my wedding 5 years later...$40.00

Me looking like I should have been getting married....PRICELESS!

Oh, and old high school boyfriend who I keep in touch with on Facebook....thanks for breaking my heart.  It all worked out for the best.

Talking to your child about Autism

Chances are at some time or another you went to school with a special classmate. Perhaps she had cerebral palsy and used a wheelchair. Maybe he wore braces on his legs and used special crutches to walk. Maybe she had hearing aids and was often seen with another teacher wearing a microphone around her neck. He may have worn dark glasses and carried a stick that helped him find his way around. Each of these children have a disability.

Chances are also very good that you have gone to school with another special classmate. He may like to talk nonstop about trains. Maybe she carries a plastic ring with her that she sometimes puts in her mouth and chews. Perhaps he keeps mostly to himself and likes to pickup dirt or sand and watch it fall to the ground over and over again. She may wave her hands in front of her face and sometimes she acts like she is a lot younger than she really is. Each of these children have a disability too.

The difference is that the first group of kids have a disability that can be seen with your eyes. The wheelchair, crutches, or special item they have to wear or carry with them.

The second group of kids may look like everyone else but their actions and behaviors are very different. These kids have Autism.

I have 2 sons with Autism. Both fall on the severe side of the spectrum. This means that they go to a special school and attend a classroom specifically designed for children with Autism. However, most classrooms have one or more children with high-functioning Autism, often called Asperger's Syndrome.

Helping children understand their classmates with autism is often a difficult task because of the wide spectrum that encompasses Autism. One one side of the spectrum we have individuals who cannot care for themselves on a day to day basis. Most are incontinent and wear diapers, non-verbal, and require assistance from adult caretakers for their entire lives. However, on the other end of the spectrum we have individuals who carry a diagnosis of high-functioning Autism but are not "disabled" by it. These individuals will more than likely attend regular classrooms, graduate from high school, attend college, marry, have children of their own, and live what many call "normal" lives. The differences lie in their demeanor. Their peers may describe them as "quirky" or perhaps they look at the world or talk about things differently than most. Often they are more introspective and prefer spending time alone over socializing in a group. They may have some physical "ticks" such as fidgeting or putting things in their mouth (like pens, pencils, etc.).

I believe one of the best things we can do for our children is to teach them compassion and respect.  A recent study by The Massachusetts Advocates for Children found that 90% of autistic students in their state suffer with bullying.  40% of those students endured bullying that lasted over a year.  Individuals with autism are especially prone to bullying due to the fact that they may not know what others are saying about them or doing to them is wrong.  I have seen this happen on a number of occasions with my own sons.  Another child will call them "weird" or "stupid" and at times they have actually pushed my children down or purposely hurt them knowing that they do not have the verbal or cognitive ability to tell an adult what happened.  One of the best ways to combat bullying is to encourage your children to make friends with classmates of all walks of life, including those with disabilities.

There are a number of excellent books written for children (and adults) that describe Autism in concise, easy to understand language.  Recently I wrote an article about these books for a new children's pen-pal site called A Child Writes due to go live on April 1st. Each of these books are an excellent resource that you can read to your child and then discuss any questions they may have.  Opening up the lines of communication about differently-abled individuals is one of the best things we can do for our children and for the special needs classmates and friends they share their time with.

Its Premier Night!

Tonight I will be at MomzShare with over 35 other women bloggers from the Maryland, Virginia, and Washington D.C. area.  We are all converging on the home of Jennifer Gerlock in Frederick, Maryland to get our buzz on! 

We will be networking ("generating buzz"...and you thought I meant alcohol, didn't you?), noshing, taking photos, whirrling, and vlogging our bloggy hearts out.  Stay tuned to twitter where you can watch all the fun unfold.  We have our own #MomzShare hash tag and even if you are not able to attend the event in person you can still be a part of the twitter party!

To all the lovely ladies who will be there tonight you can find me somewhere near the wine table..I'll be the one with the green hair!  :-D

They're like little pillows of chocolate chip heroin

I love to bake.

I love to eat.

My scale confirms both of these facts.

Its really a bit of an addiction.

Therefore, I try to bake things that other people get to eat.

Cause nobody likes being the fat gal surrounded by skinny chicks.

and I can feed the cookie addiction of those near and dear to my heart

I'm sensitive like that. 

Sunday's World's Best Chocolate Chip Cookies:

Ingredients:

• 1/2 cup butter crisco (melted)
• 1/2 cup (1 stick) real butter (melted)
• 3/4 cup white sugar
• 3/4 cup brown sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 3 cups flour
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 4 Tbsp. REAL vanilla extract (yes, 4 TBSP! and don't even think about using that fake wanna-be real vanilla stuff)
• 1 bag chocolate chips (I love Hershey's Semi-sweet)

Instructions:

• Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.
• Melt butter and crisco in the microwave until completely liquefied.
• In another bowl (or mixer) combine sugars.
• Add liquefied butter and crisco to the sugars and mix well
• Add eggs and mix well
• Add baking soda, salt, and real vanilla and mix well
• Add flour slowly and mix well.
• Add chocolate chips and mix.
• I  use a large ice cream scoop to scoop the batter onto the baking sheets
• If you are using a large scoop you can fit 8 per sheet and they should be baked for 18-20 minutes (switching the top sheet to the bottom and vice versa halfway through)
• If you want to make smaller cookies you can fit 12 per sheet and they should be baked for 10-12 minutes (switching the top sheet to the bottom and vice versa halfway through)

Now that I have shared my recipe I am hoping the death threats and drive-bys will stop.  Otherwise the cops might start thinking I am really dealing the good stuff out of my house. 

How Bloggy Boot Camp is going to save my blog's soul

On Saturday I attended the SITS girls Bloggy Boot Camp in downtown Baltimore where I spent the day meeting other amazing women who have found their niche and their passion through blogging.  I learned countless tips, tweaks, and tricks and some downright eye-opening techniques to blow your blog straight through the roof. 

 Dumb Mom from Parenting By Dummies and I hamming it up

I came away from this conference with a definite road map of where my blog needs to go and how it needs to change to accomplish it.

Most unfortunate was learning that WYSIWYG is the name of a software program used to in web publishing and therefore I will NEVER be able to purchase a URL or trademark with that name.  *Sigh*  Therefore I have made the decision to change my blog name AGAIN. 

UGH! 

I know this may be a bit confusing to those of you who are used to seeing WYSIWYG show up on your Google Reader or your Blogger Dashboard but I assure you this was the right decision to make in order to help my blog grow and expand upon some of the plans I have for it in the future.

I recently purchased www.extremeparenthood.com and www.extremeparenthood.net and I will be making the change very soon with a brand new header and background and some other HTML features I learned about at Bloggy Boot Camp.  In addition I have already changed my twitter handle to @xtremeparnthood and my new email address will be extremeparenthood@gmail.com.


I am also seriously considering a switch from Blogger to Wordpress.  Chances are this will happen later, rather than sooner due to finances but I know now that it is the best platform for bloggers who want complete control of their content.


On Saturday I also learned some valuable information regarding SEO (Search Engine Optimization) which was something I had never heard of but after the presentation I realized it is a very big deal.  SEO is centered around how to best bring traffic to your site by utilizing headers, keywords, and tags.  I never considered the way I title my blog posts or how I named my photos made a difference in how people find my blog.  Making some very easy changes can make all the difference in your traffic numbers and transparency in the blogosphere.

I realized after brainstorming with some amazing ladies that my blog has a great potential for outgrowth to the special needs community and the various businesses that want to offer assistance and inclusion to their venues..  I admit I had never considered this as a possibility for my blog.  I began it as a way to break up the monotony of parenthood with the daily joys and struggles of raising my boys.  I was mostly looking for a way to connect with other parents facing the same challenges and offer hope or at the very least, humor.

I also learned the importance of building your "tribe".  These are the people who visit your blog daily and leave comments that lift you up and show support.  After a short time you find yourselves conversing by email and phone and giving advice or maybe just a listening ear when they call.  These are the relationships that build you up when you feel like a negative commenter is trying to tear you down.  They will make you laugh when you feel like crying and they bring you awesome flashing rings to wear during your conference (WOOHOO!  Daune!).

 

Daune of The Grasshoppa & Shell of Things I Can't Say

It was hard to say goodbye to the amazing ladies I met.  Many of us are hoping to attend the next regional Bloggy Boot Camp to be held in Philadelphia, PA on September 11, 2010.  

This Girl doesn't care about having fun...I wanna WIN!

Well it seems I have done it again.

If you enjoyed laughed yourself silly watching my first round dancing to Wii's "Just Dance" then you are in for a real treat.

Supah from Adventures of A Wanna-Be SupahMommy has teamed up with Shell from Things I Can't Say to bring us the 2nd Dance Yer Bloggy Off Contest.

Due to obvious divine intervention I actually won the first Dance Off.  I am convinced the only reason that happened was because there were only 4 entries and 2 were disqualified.  Clearly anyone who knows me knows for a fact that I cannot dance to save my life.

And yet it seems today I am dancing to save my current title as Dance Champion.  This week I shared my new button with the hecklers who have been warning me that my champion status is soon to come to an end.

We shall see Ladies...we shall see.

For the second Dance Off each of the entrants were required to video tape ourselves dancing to the song, 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun', show our high score, and wait to see who will be crowned the victor.

I practiced this song at least 40 times yesterday and during that time I came to a realization about what girls women really want.

• Jewelry:  Preferably diamonds in a platinum setting.  However, in a pinch any precious stone will do
• Expensive Handbags:  Kate Spade, Coach, Burberry, and the like are all greatly appreciated
• Lavish Vacations:  Hawaii, Mediterranean cruises, or our own chalet in the Swiss Alps
• A Sugar Daddy to pay for all of the above

I don't think that is too much to ask, do you?







and for those of you who are wondering what my T-shirt says.  Its rather appropriate considering all the heckling I am bound to get from Supah who beat my score...

"I can't hear you...I have my head up my bass"

Nuff said.

Wordful Wednesday: The coloring banshee edition

I spend my days when my boys are not in school running myself ragged and chugging vodka in the linen closet either playing Wii with Sam (who mostly likes to watch me make a fool of myself) or with Noah at the kitchen table drawing whatever shapes, characters, or items he wants.  Typically he will choose the color and then tell me what he wants me to draw.  If I get it wrong or jump ahead and draw my own thing he will get mad and turn the page and I have to start over.  Needless to say we typically fill a large sketch book in a single week.

Today I thought I would share with you some of Noah's favorites.

I made a title page for this homemade book when he wasn't looking

BAD MOMMY!

Our humble workstation

Noah's favorite thing to watch me draw are shapes and balloons.

However, occasionally he asks for something unique like a carrot or various types of milk.

Balloons are one of Noah's favorite things in the whole wide world.

 Sometimes he asks for books and shapes

 Or shapes and ribbons (I call them bows and he gets mad)

 Noah also loves numbers and can easily count to 100 on his own

When I am feeling devious I will draw something I want to draw, like an octopus.  

Noah does not like this at all and will take revenge...

By making me do this for a few pages

I know I shouldn't be so scared of my 4 year old and the way he barks orders at me left and right but darnnit I think I may be developing carpal tunnel syndrome from the number of hours I spend drawing and coloring with crayons.