Unfortunately, I have been turned down for life insurance four times due to a pre-existing medical condition but when it comes to my not having a will...I don't have any excuses.
Well, at least not any good ones. Such as:
- I'm too young to need a will or live insurance. Those are only for older people.
- I'm too busy. I spend my days caring for my two autistic sons, the home we live in, and running the necessary errands needed to do both.
- I'm healthy. Wills and life insurance are for people who aren't.
- I don't have a lot of money so who cares what happens to what I do have when I die?
- I can't afford it. Lawyers are expensive and untrustworthy. Why else would they have so many jokes about them?
I'm too young to need a will or life insurance. Those are only for older people.
This is probably the biggest misconception about securing a will and life insurance for yourself. Neither of these is for your own benefit. Simply put, these documents and policies are for the peace of mind and security of those you leave behind.
Your will is the document that gives your spouse, children, and/or family the freedom to grieve your loss without the added burden of guessing how you would have wanted your estate and final resting place decided.
As a daughter who was forced to make these decisions blindly with my sisters after our mother died unexpectedly I assure you this is far more important than you may know.
I'm too busy. I spend my days caring for my two autistic sons, the home we live in, and running the necessary errands needed to do both.
There are so many things wrong with this excuse...Some would argue that because my children are both disabled it is even more important that I have a will dictating who would be best to care for them after I am gone assuming their father has also expired and is not here to care for them himself.
I have often joked that due to the boys' extensive needs and the likelihood that they will require a similarly high-level of care as adults I am simply not allowed to die. Ever.
Sadly, that is not the way life (or death) works.
Someday I will no longer be here to care for them and a will is my way of ensuring their next caretaker understands how to best meet their needs and that it is my desire that they do so in a loving and nurturing manner that respects the boys' unique abilities and inabilities.
I'm healthy. Wills and life insurance are for people who aren't.
The problem with this excuse is that it is only true right now. In a split second it could change due to an accident or illness and then my husband, my boys, and my family would be left to sort out the details by themselves. I love them too much to leave them with that burden.
No one expects to die young. I never thought my mother would die of massive stroke 8 days after her 57th birthday. Just last month I learned one of my high school classmates succumbed to ovarian cancer at the age of 31. Sadly, these unexpected deaths happen every day and the only way we can prepare is to plan for the best of life while also preparing for the worst case scenario.
I don't have a lot of money so who cares what happens to what I do have when I die?
Your last will and testament is not just about your money (or lack of money). It is about the dividing up of your property (jewelry, car, a house), your desire to be either cremated or buried, and guidelines for how you want your children or your pets cared for after your death. It is also helpful to list where your important papers are located so your family does not have to tear your house apart to locate your bills and the paperwork necessary to sell your home or car.
Guess who got stuck doing that when her mother died?! My sister's and I, that's who.
I can't afford it. Lawyers are expensive and untrustworthy. A last will and testament is surprisingly affordable. Most lawyers charge a fair price because it is an excellent foot in the door for future legal work. Plus, wills need to be updated often when there is any major life change such as the birth of a child, marriage, divorce, or the purchase of a large item such as a home or rental property and that lawyer certainly wants to be the one making all of those revisions for you.
There are online resources for creating a will. I have heard good things about legalzoom.com and they charge $69.00 for a basic will. $99.00 will buy you a basic will with the ability to make free changes for one year.
It is true that using a company online will almost certainly be cheaper than hiring a private attorney. However, I prefer the face to face interaction of working with an attorney I both know and grow to trust.
This is the same reason I prefer my local insurance agent over an online company such as Geico or Progressive. I want a person who knows me and my family when I call to tell them some jerk hit my car. This is a time when you do not want to be known only as an account number!
Chances are very good that a private attorney will only charge a marginally higher flat rate fee for the drafting of your will over an online company.
I am a firm believer that many times you get what you pay for and I am okay paying a little more for quality over quantity.
Ironically I happen to know a very good attorney and yet I have not had my will created. This is because the attorney I know best also happens to be my ex-husband and the boys' dad, Bruce Godfrey. Due to an obvious iron-clad conflict of interest he cannot draft my will. However, he can refer me to another attorney he trusts and has done so.
No one likes thinking about the end of their life. What we should think about is ensuring we do not leave our loved ones behind blindly picking through the pieces of our lives and second-guessing themselves in the process.
I like to think of my will as being my last gift to my loved ones. It will be my last gesture of care for them after I am gone.
And truly, isn't that the one gift we would all want to give?
If you live in the state of Maryland or the District of Columbia and you have not had a will written I would urge you to visit Bruce's website at http://www.brucegodfrey.com or call him directly at (410) 561-6061.
If you live in another part of the country I would advise you start with your state's bar association for referrals. An excellent resource for this is http://www.statebarassociations.org/
You may also consider asking your friends or relatives which attorneys they have used in the past and have grown to trust for their own legal needs.
